She called me. Throwing me “tons” of question, why this, why that…

It all happened when Ms Lo posted in her blog – What’s an “Ah Kua”?

And in particular the last paragraph, and I quote:

The Ah Kua Show will reclaim the unique, individual voices of Southeast Asian women.  We come in all shapes and sizes – some of us will never “pass” as women, and most of us look less than glamorous, but we all have one thing in common: feminine souls.

“On one hand, she responded to some ang moh who wrote about How to Spot a Ladyboy and she deems most offensive and degrading to the millions of transgender women worldwide due to the term, yet she uesd Ah Kua here Ah Kua there to represent the voices of Southeast Asian (trans) women?”

“Who gives her the right to represent us anyway…”

Ms Lo had been, by my knowledge, the only one for the past donkey years that is visibly active in making her voices be heard over various media for the benefit of the transgender community. Even the recent support for Ms Marla SIS, she had been gunning her concern through her blog.

Many local and overseas sista look-up to her and seek her advice.

When Ms Lo planned the Ah Kua Show and decided to use the term as the title, already we see some argument about it, which I believe I read somewhere from Ms Lo’s blog, explaining the meaning behind the term.

While there is no official written statement from any trans-woman, asking Ms Lo to represent the community, her initiation does provide good image and representation for the community, don’t you think so?

Ms Lo is a outspoken person. Some may not like her due to whatever reason those may hold, but you cannot deny she is doing something, rather then you sitting at the comfort of your home, doing what you do best – nothing – and hope the world will change for the better?!?!

Before you start crying foul, step back and think… had you done anything, yet?

I believe so too. And I also believe that if he had gone to some other local TG forum or dating site, he would not face the same blasting from members.

Is the reaction from members uncalled for? Does he really look upon TS gal as a sexual subject rather then a person?

I trust it is the words he used that causes the stir. He step with the wrong foot on the wrong ground.

Regardless, he is Moving TO Singapore.

EXCERPT –

ON A COUPLE OF OCCASIONS when I’d been out and about in Singapore, I’d bumped into an ebullient, ‘all-action’, twenty something, Tranny called Kelly Wild. The first time we met it was outside one of those popular Tranny nightclub hangouts down by the Singapore River—and we did physically bump into each other.

I was struck immediately by how attractive she was; long legs, full breasts and an engaging smile. Now I think about it, I clearly remember thinking, Wow, very sexy—so hard to tell she’s not a ’real’ girl. Wouldn’t mind getting to know her better. Intimately better if I had the chance.

We’d chatted for a couple of hours that night, just sitting watching some of the small boats meander up and down the river. Amongst other things, Kelly told me about her upbringing (she was actually born in Singapore, albeit to Scottish parents); about how she remembered playing ‘dress-up’ in skirts and dresses when she was only six or seven; her time at boarding school in England (I really felt quite jealous when she told me how she used to play the parts of females in a number of the school plays) and so on.

Post-graduation Kelly headed back to Singapore and joined one of the large, regional accounting practices—keen to progress her professional career, but keener to ensure that she was able to continue with her ‘dressing’ which, by now, had become an irresistible compulsion.

“So you can see, I’ve basically been a Tranny for years and years,’ she had declared as she finished telling me about her early years. ‘Sometimes think I should have transitioned but, there again, maybe better to be a ‘chick with a dick’, right Chris?”

I had smiled at her, thinking she was probably right, yet still rueing the fact she didn’t have a nice, warm pussy I could get to know a little better.

It was a couple of weeks before we met again, quite by chance, but this time we both had some time to kill and, so, we decided to sit and chat in one of these outdoor coffee shops on Orchard Road. And chat we did!

Nearly three hours later, we were still there—sipping hot chocolate and sharing experiences, regaling each other with some of the more outlandish things we’d done. She’s uncannily like me, I’d thought at the time. Places she’s been, things, she’s done. But, actually, she is a ‘fully-fledged’ Tranny, maybe on the road to transition, maybe not; whereas me…well, I just don’t know what I am anymore!

The third time we met, I told Kelly about the book I’d recently written called ‘City of Angels’, all about my Tranny experiences in Asia. Kelly’s eyes lit up and, even now, I can recall her saying, “You know Chris, I’ve got so, so many experiences I’d love to share with people. But I’m just not a writer—haven’t got that eye for detail nor the patience to actually put pen to paper.” She’d paused and looked straight into my eyes. “Any interest in helping me out?” (I assumed she meant with the book).

Well, what could I say? The thought of spending more time with Kelly was very appealing even if it was, ostensibly, to hear about her own ‘sexperiences’—with a view to helping her get them into print. After all, you never quite know what happens when two Trannies get together in private—could well be some ‘cock-action’ somewhere along the way! Needless to say, I had a hard-on when I said, “yes, Kelly, I would love to.”

And, so, here are some of Kelly Wild’s recollections of her time in Asia, her thoughts and, more importantly, her ‘Tranny wishes’—nine in all, to be precise!

“Over to you, Kelly. Introduce us to your ‘Tranny Wishes.’”

“Thanks Chris. As you well know, all Trannies, no matter where they are or who they are, have their own ‘list’ of ‘wishes’—well, most of us do anyway! Some wishes may, of course, come to fruition, but most will be too far into the realms of fantasy to ever stand much chance of occurring.

Yet, our hopes forever linger and my stories are all about the nine wishes of a long-standing Tranny (me!)—wishes, which, owing to a combination of the right circumstances, amazingly, did come true. Just let me think where to begin…”

This e-book is available for only C$5.99 (just under S$8) for download at Club Lighthouse Publishing.

Watch the above show and see how Jerry Springer’s comments on – “you never been out with a man”?

This is the typical perception of most people when they see a mtf transsexual – as a man.

While the female subject in the video stress to Jerry that she is a woman and being a straight guy dating a woman is nothing gay~

The male subject, being a straight male, says he never did anything like this before. He thought that a mtf transsexual would be a man in a dress. When his date turn out to be a hot chick, you can see his instant shocking expression on his face.

Do read the previous blog post about whether you are gay when you date a mtf transsexual
http://www.sgbutterfly.org/blog/am-i-gay/
http://www.sgbutterfly.org/blog/i-fell-for-the-woman-of-my-dreams/

Generally in South East Asia, it had been known to be practiced up until the present day although in the last decade it seems to have lost it’s popularity. In the 70s and 80s it was very common to hear of people going to their favourite “witch doctor” or “bomoh” in the Malay language, for help in their jobs, sickness and of course, their love life.

In the case of Malaysia and Singapore, for example, the “clinic” would normally be on a mat on the floor and the “patient”” would witness the “doctor” chanting over a basin of water and telling the person his or her fortune. He would then prescribe the “medicine” which could be in the form of an oil which had to be applied and a few words usually, in a sort of verse, chanted.

In return the “doctor” would be paid about US$10 and sometimes given things in kind like uncooked rice or sugar. The witch doctors were very popular then amongst the bar girls who used these charms to lure customers and it would seem that the spells worked judging by the success that some had.

In the Night Angels trade, the common voodoo is what they call as “diamond” insert, usually on the forehead.

With the insertion, she gain popularity with immediate effect and is sought after by lusting man.

Witchcraft experiences anybody?

In school, he was male. But now she feels she is a woman, and this unusual gender transition facing the 26-year-old person is driving “him” mad.

Many questions her decision of not performing any form of medical surgery to feminize herself and the “no-desire” of performing SRS, yet.

Marla’s stories had been pick up by our infamous tabloid newspaper TNP and on-going there was a series of transgender story. As usual, the journalist of TNP never fail to use their so call legally-correct pronoun to address the transgender people. But are they (TG) really transsexual or as the papers mentioned – Transvestites?

TNP always stand by their “legal” documents – As long as the MtF complete her transitioning (SRS) and her identification reflect her as a Female, TNP will address them as Transsexual and use the pronoun “she” or “her”. If they haven’t done their SRS, MtF will be known as Transvestites and the pronoun of a “he”, “his” and “him”.

I wouldn’t want to argue with TNP, for I know that they have limited knowledge to the subject and they have obligation to continue making good names for TNP as Singapore Most Read Tabloid.

I would like to bring your attention, not about how idiotic TNP is in providing such information, but towards the concept of transitioning to be accepted as a transsexual woman, or rather, as a woman.

On a general consensus, gender is define by the anatomy in between you legs. If you got a penis, you are a male. If you got a vagina, you are a female. Simple to understand, logical to explain, legally no hassle.

But the above is basically an identification based on a aesthetic image.

Most people live in the concept of Male and Female. It is hard to accept concept of transsexualism, about people transition to reflect the true “gender” of themselves. It is even upsetting to hear from sista, criticizing another sista because of the decision of not performing any “knife-art” to feminize herself. Even upsetting to know that there are sista that see transsexualism or gender as male and female in the concept of anatomy too.

You can read from the net about difference perception in the definition of Transgender, Transsexual & Transvestite. There are perception from medical POV, from Transgender community themselves and also from mainstream community. Within the mentioned 3 groups, they holds different POV from different angles. Its a messy community.

Day 1 when I started SgB, I stick to one definition:

1.) Transgender – People who perceived, act and behave different from their birth gender. A umbrella term for Transsexual and Transvestite.

2.) Transsexual – People who do not agree to their birth gender, which may (or not) attempt to seek minimum or complete medical procedure to conform to their brain gender. They may (or not) also seek to transition in fashion to conform to their brain gender.

3.) Transvestite – People who accept their birth gender, which usually seek to transition in fashion to be the opposite gender for any reason, which may attempt to seek minimum medical procedure to conform to that opposite gender.

That is why, I never agree to TNP’s reports on Transsexual and Transvestite.

Regardless of whatever definition that you may have, which I cannot make you to think otherwise, there is one that I stand by – Transgenderism is not a mental illness, or at least Transsexualism isn’t.

One concern in my thoughts, why didn’t any SgBian start any discussion on it? Would it be “This is simply not their ‘THING’ … too”?

Apparently, my thoughts are unjustified. In ain’t not not their “thing”. Actually, not many local transgender or transsexual knows about the happening or even the campaign.

The entire chapter was triggered by the experience of Ms Marla Bendini Junior Ong being thrown out of China One, not once, but twice. It leads to a series of letters being send and the launch of the first-ever Campaign in Singapore to end discrimination against Transgender Women – Sister in Solidarity.

Ms Lo, founding working group member of the Asia-Pacific Transgender Network and author of “From Leonard to Leona: A Singapore Transsexual’s Journey to Womanhood“, spear head the campaign, together with Ms Ong and Ms Trish, a transsexual that was ask to leave a job due to her transitioning, which left her jobless for 12 years.

Watch the below clips by RazorTV on the media release by SIS.

Many local LGB gave their comments in support to the cause, but the local T seems very quiet (because they do not know about it) with a few that does not approve of Ms Ong on her decision of transitioning.

Before I give my personal feel on the subject, I would like to bring your attention to our CONSTITUTION OF THE REPUBLIC OF SINGAPORE (Rev 1999)

Equal protection

12. —(1) All persons are equal before the law and entitled to the equal protection of the law.

(2) Except as expressly authorised by this Constitution, there shall be no discrimination against citizens of Singapore on the ground only of religion, race, descent or place of birth in any law or in the appointment to any office or employment under a public authority or in the administration of any law relating to the acquisition, holding or disposition of property or the establishing or carrying on of any trade, business, profession, vocation or employment.

(3) This Article does not invalidate or prohibit —

(a) any provision regulating personal law; or

(b) any provision or practice restricting office or employment connected with the affairs of any religion, or of an institution managed by a group professing any religion, to persons professing that religion.

Now my thoughts…

All entertainment premises has their own “(un)written” house rules and I believe part of it will states that they (club owner/management) have the rights to evict anyone out of their facility without the need to provide any reason or whatsoever.

It is respectfully wrong to single out Ms Ong due to an absurd reason – “This is simply not their THING“. The manager (or whoever) that provided that statement needs to go for customer service course. It is outright discriminating.

Yet…  it is not illegal.

I applause to the courage and determination of Ms Lo, Ms Ong and Ms Trish and I sincerely do hope that the campaign will be well received and does not in any chance, create more hindrance for the transgender community.

I know there are many transsexual that has fused into the mainstream community and are each in their own comfort zone. These group of transsexual, be it pre-op, post-op or no-op, had been living their life in stealth. Their ability to stealth might have various reason and passibility is definitely one of them.

By raising this note, I’m stating that human judge by ecstatic view. Although the saying mentioned that “Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder“, the majority of human still take sides on a general “beauty concept”.

Many sista that I know, who are of average or above quality looks, have no problem fusing into the community, even if their gender status is known. But of-cos, many choose to not openly declare.

Face the fact of current situation. There is no “3rd gender law”, because there shouldn’t be any “3rd gender”. The variant of gender may be vast for you can be a bi-male, cis female, gay transsexual male, top crossdressing female, etc… but there is only Female or Male. People see things as masculine or feminine.

Everyone has a right to present themselves in whatever ways they want. Everyone has the right to be in any dress code that they deems appropriate, without creating as a public nuisance.

Having said such, if you know you are not very passable as a transsexual, or there are certain visual traits that might picha you as a trans, or you are conscious about people knowing you are a trans, wouldn’t you tone done a little on your dressing, behaviour, character, or whatsoever that might lead others on. Not so?

Transgender people also face discrimination in their search for a good career, especially for pre-op trans, as their status on their identification does not tally with their outlook. Worst, if they are masculine pre-op mtf.

While you may not be able to change your masculinity overnight, you still got to feed yourselves.

A S$800 job with our famous 24/7 chain store will be a start to get you going.

Yar, you got great paper qualification, you spend tons on your education, you hope to work as a while collar position. Is dignity or integrity a priority then getting food to the table? Feed yourself before you start to venture into other areas, IMO.

If you wish to endorse the Sisters in Solidarity (SIS) Campaign Petition to Nightspot and club operators, you can go to this website: http://www.petitiononline.com/sister1/petition.html, or drop by

Food #03, 107+109 Rowell Road
Date: Sat, May 8, 2010
Time: 2 to 6pm

Organisers aim to collect 1,000 signatures for their petition that calls for an end to all forms of discrimination against transgender women in Singapore. The petition and a cover letter will be sent to any organisation/institution reported to have discriminated against transgender women here.

Before I sign off, I leave you with this comment from a sista name Rebecca -

This is Singapore. If you going to go out in public, you should know better to have your armor up.

U.S. District Judge S. Thomas Anderson declared the mistrial on Monday (19 April 2010) after jurors deadlocked 11-1 in favor of finding Bridges McRae guilty of violating the civil rights of Dwayne “Duanna” Johnson, The Memphis Commercial Appeal reported Tuesday.

In November 2008, Johnson, 43, was fatally shot in Memphis. No arrests have been made.

HEELS. Bikini tops. Sexy music

These pole dancers may make you go ‘wow’, but perhaps not for the reasons you think.

They spin, defy gravity and wrap themselves around 2.5m-high poles.

Most have no gymnastics background. Some are afraid of heights.

Twelve dancers will compete on Saturday at the Pole Stars Talent Showcase Singapore 2010 for a chance to be the first Singaporean competitor at the International Pole Dance Fitness Championship 2010 in Tokyo later this year.

This article was first published in The New Paper.

The story continues with transgender performer Marla Bendini, 23, who deals with even more scrutiny than others pole dancer. How “HE” (YES, the farking TNP use HE again) faces problem blar blar blar…

This was not all. On the earlier page “It’s an orgy at our doorstep“, speaks about our infamous Changi Village and the happening that affect some of the resident over there.

TNP is definitely in my Hit List now…